Nearly three years on, I’d really thought I’d seen it all with Baldur’s Gate 3. I spoke to the streamer who’s the reason Scratch plays fetch with Karlach’s severed head. I’ve seen World of Warcraft’s Tirisfal Glades recreated in BG3’s style, and mods that add modern guns to the game. Now, however, one person is on an NPC kill run, murdering every single Faerûnian bystander and shoving them in a box. This makes even the Dark Urge look tame.
On Wednesday, July 22, Matt ‘spectraIarrow’ posted on X: “My friend and I have been doing a [Baldur’s Gate 3] run where we just kill every single person we come across and store their body at camp. We’re nearing the end of Act 1, and our game lags when we open the chest from the amount of bodies.” The accompanying, cursed image shows the camp’s Traveller’s Chest, which is, indeed, filled to the brim with corpses.
There’s the entire Tiefling grove in there – including Wyll – as well as Karlach’s severed head (Luality would be proud). Then there’s the inhabitants of Goblin Camp, with Halsin in the mix for good measure. The duo really has left no one standing.
“I had no idea this was our plan going in and I had this whole idea for an Oath of Devotion Paladin whose guardian I made look like Lathander,” they continue. “That oath broke QUICK and now the dream guardian visits are a bit awkward.”
The post has 16k likes at the time of writing, because all of you are absolute heathens. Matt goes on to repost a video from Dexerto’s Instagram feed, where the story had featured, writing “no fucking way.” In response, Larian CEO Swen Vincke has reposted that comment, writing “we should’ve made that an achievement – real funny.”
A part of me appreciates the chaos of this. The magical thing about Baldur’s Gate 3 is the raw ability to do literally anything. Stack boxes to jump a wall and besiege a fort, or kill every NPC in sight – Larian perfectly captured the manic soul of Dungeons & Dragons. But, as someone who played a little bit of Dark Urge and was so unsettled by it that she immediately reverted course, I can’t imagine experiencing a fully dead Faerûn. It’s an interesting – if not macabre – concept; what would a world that’s so brimming with life look like if that was snuffed out? Things to muse on, I suppose, but I’m not even sure The Netherbrain could be that cruel.